Lately, I've found that a lot of things have been bringing me to tears. Starry skies, a card with true and simple words, my parents' embrace. I don't know if it's for any particular reason, but I may have an idea.

My sense of my feelings has been heightened in the past year. In other words, I have become so very well-aware that my emotions--every aspect of them--control me. They have put me in both wonderful and taxing situations. In knowing this, part of me says that this needs to change; that I have become too rash in my decision-making and that I need a tighter grip on logic. I need to learn how to fight my heart, pick the options that make more sense rather than the ones that will give me only fleeting happiness in the present and not the future.

At the same time, I feel as though this makes me more of an individual and makes life more tangible, exciting. If I always picked the "logical" choices, steered away from situations that could possibly lead me to go through emotional strife, then I think I would find myself to be a more boring person. In closing my eyes and going full-speed ahead with my feelings, life is more of an adventure. It's as though through my decisions, I can feel life--through breath, through beats, through tears.

Of course, it's not as though I wield all aspects of my life singing this mantra. Had I given into procrastination every time during grade school, I would most certainly not be where I am today. At the same time, I also know that insisting on listening to every small desire I feel would prove me selfish. So that's why I feel that several--controlled--doses of emotional-decision-making is good for the soul. It helps me make life more meaningful and personal, which I think is important.

So why is life bringing me to tears? These tiny, everyday occurrences now have a direct connection to my feelings. Of the moments I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the one I treasure the most is my parents' embrace. And it is, in fact, a web of both logic and emotion that led me to this instance that took place in front of the dishwasher. Too many times I have witnessed terrible divorces and unhappy families, which is only becoming more rampant throughout America, and often times, I'll even feel guilty for being one of the lucky ones who has a loving family. That feeling of appreciation, and also the feeling of knowing my parents have a relationship I can use a guide for my own, gives me such a wave of happiness that I couldn't help but become a little misty-eyed.

So as I embark on this exercise, this "journey" to write for fifteen minutes a day for 31 days straight, I know that I will be drawing a lot on my emotions. It's what fueled my love for writing in the first place. So while I know to others I can appear illogical at times, I hope to channel all my "feeliness" into this boundless medium. I can only encourage others to do the same.