Tick tick tick. The moments are passing by. Your head is nodding but there's really nothing you can do. You can't fall asleep - what if something bad happens while you're asleep? No... those thoughts need to be flushed out. If you close your eyes for one second there will be no waking up.

Bzzzzzzz Bzzz Bzzzzzzz - It's the guy who is supposed to relieve me of my watch. "I'll be there at 5:30" Well that's funny, I thought you were going to be be here at 5:00 last time I checked. No, I can't get angry. After all, that's way too much energy I can't afford to expend. No, I need to do as little as possible.

The pH is slowly climbing- taunting me that every second the basic reaction in the bag will pull me from my chair. If this is what motherhood is like, I might just need to sign out. There is it "7.7." That number is like a baby's light crying. When it reaches 7.9 - it might as well be a baby's piercing cry. Don't worry, mother's coming.

See... I came up with this fantastic idea to start training my body to function on limited hours of sleep. Well that would be all fine and dandy if not for the simple fact that I skips meals and naps - two important times of day that you can never really get back - in order to stay by my child. No... it is not my baby. It is a baby that needs foster care. Except, what type of compensation am I getting for taking care of this wretched little creature?

The pure satisfaction one gets from pursuing one's passions. There's nothing hotter than the conviron. Well that might be true seeing as there's 16 hours of continuous artificial sunlight. Oh yea- that's right guys be jealous of the fact that I am completely delusional right now and spending time in some nice and hot weather that is artificially produced.

Well time to go drink some bottled water and listen to Fox News. Oh yeah and I'm off to the shooting range because I'm a member of the NRA. Also, I think that I'm pretty cool - I mean I dated a big African American guy for a year. Ann Coulter's my biggest hero. I'd prefer if you talked Reagan to me. That would be much preferred; don't you dare bring your liberal views into this classroom. - How's the taste of my 11th grade English teacher? Oh Jotus you slay me.

posted by Jackie 4:53 PM on Monday, August 9, 2010